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Homeschool Cruise Director? I don't think so...

I didn’t sign up to be the Cruise Director on this amazing voyage called Homeschooling.  Methinks that’s where things went a little awry.  Maybe in this age of Pinterest and one-upping on social media you know what I mean.  I was going to have the colorful bulletin boards of an elementary school classroom and the engaging science experiment at the kitchen table (complete with explosion) and every field trip which would make the fantasy childhood complete.  I’ve learned some things over the last two decades that might save you some time and money.  They will certainly save some frustration and, if we’re lucky, your ever-loving sanity. 

Cruise Directors Entertain, while You Educate

I’ve been on a cruise (two, if we must divulge all our excesses) and I totally get what his job is…I mean, besides pushing your bar tab and the casino.  He has to make sure that you have a really good time, all the time.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love it when the field trip is a blast or the book makes us all rejoice when the hero comes through, but it really isn’t your JOB to make every day a series of well-planned and executed lessons and activities.  See, the difference between you and the cruise director is he has to create the illusion you are part of the 7-day close-knit family (while wringing as many dollars out of your wallet as possible.)  Our illustrious Director doesn’t have to live with the overfed and over-entertained monsters created by endless buffets and deck activities. You, however, do.
In fact, I’m going to challenge you to make sure there are long stretches of boredom guaranteed to each child, each week.  
The outcome will be creative play and siblings who become friends and they might pick up this thing called a book.  Like any effective benevolent tyrant, you’ll want to put the kibosh on electronics of every description during school hours. I don’t care if it’s a learning game or a must-see educational video, have you seen how they turn into little zombies after screen exposure?  No expert advice or double-blind study is needed to see what is plainly before you each and every time their glazed eyes emerge from the video game.

The Curriculum Buffet 

My first son struggled to read.  Actually, all my kids were late readers; but this was my first and it was long before there was widespread support for the idea that they will read when they are ready (and btw they will).  We get wrapped up in our children’s successes and to fail “on schedule” with something as important as reading was pretty demoralizing. There was a curriculum, it was pretty dang shiny, I can tell you that! And I wanted it, but all that shiny was expensive.  The answer to my son’s lack of reading was there, I was so sure of it!  Then a friend of mine found it at a blasted garage sale!  For her son.  I remember, with a good helping of guilt, the feelings of covetousness that engulfed me that day.  But now I know, the answer wasn’t in the curriculum.  The answer was in my son—he simply wasn’t ready!
I used to buy curricula (homeschoolers learn cool things like the plural of curriculum!) and then it sat on my shelf.  
Or the first couple of pages were used and then it sat on my shelf.  I wish that I had a dollar for every dollar I wasted on curricula (which is another way of saying that I wished I hadn’t spent that money…)

What I found that actually worked were free or nearly so.  I know you’re scanning through this blog post but please slow down to read this earth-shattering sentence: Get a library card and use it.  Read aloud from timeless stories and thumb through the nonfiction books with big, glossy pictures.  Delve into juvenile biographies of the great ones who have come before.  Bring home enormous stacks of books and consider the paying of fines (and you will pay fines!) as a privilege due a family like yours because you are that family who makes total strangers stare as you check out.

Remove the Clan to Your Cabin

I’ve always hesitated to mention this name I’ve given my teaching style.  It sounds a bit risqué—I call it bedschooling.  But there is seriously nothing better than reading aloud in my big bed with my girls cuddling up or coloring or just staring at the ceiling. My homeschool environment improved drastically when I navigated away from the kitchen table and into more comfortable and casual spaces. 

Each year I make some thematic choices—they may be historical time periods like Elizabethan England or Westward Expansion or a scientific focus like marine biology.  There may be times when it is a skill orientation like creative writing or memorization.  The point of limiting the focus is that it allows you to say no to things that don’t fit in your theme.  You actually save yourself from curricular FOMO and the need to jump on to every class and field trip offered.  If I’m focusing on marine biology I don’t need to go to the gold mine fieldtrip this year (can you see me saving you money left and right?)

Another piece of advice that is so, so cheap is to mosey over to www.doverpublications.com and get on their email list.  When you get a coupon for 25% off, order away (make sure you order enough for free shipping).  I love their high-quality coloring books that teach about the theme I’ve chosen.  While I read aloud, my kids are coloring something that teaches them or even goes along with the book I’m reading.  They have something for every age and I have never been unhappy with a purchase.  When I order gobs at once with the coupon I get them for about $3 a piece. I am not affiliated and don't get a commission, just a satisfied customer.
Photo by Joseph Barrientos on Unsplash

But Here’s the Deal

You’re not the Cruise Director, you’re the Captain!  Just because I bedschool with a theme or believe in reading from real books, you are the one who decides what is best for your family.  I’m just here to encourage you NOT to get wrapped up in lesson plans that squash learning, NOT to spend a lot of money on curricula that probably just appeals to you rather than your kid, and NOT increase your sense of overwhelm by trying to do everything to make your kids happy.  Keep your eyes on the opposite shore of growing responsible adults and don’t compare yourself or your kids to the other passengers on the voyage.  

Anchors Away!  You got this…



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